Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Just breathe!

I've been a bit busy with making hats for everyone (and they're all coming along nicely and should be in the mail soon!), but there's an even bigger reason that I haven't been blogging much lately.  I've been focusing every extra ounce of energy I have on convincing my husband of something.  You see, marriage counseling did wonders for our marriage.  It really did!  I still get upset and hurt when my husband is in a bad mood, but now I can take a breath and think about the reason behind his mood and not take it all so personally.  Sounds great, right?  It is!  So where's the problem?  My husband isn't doing so well with figuring out my moods (which he openly admits, so it's okay for me to say that, right?) and he's still having some issues.  He hasn't had the easiest of lives.  He's tends to hang on to his anger and resentment over things instead of just talking things out.  And there are a whole lot of things that he's still angry about from his childhood.  It's tough.  To be honest, I can totally understand how and why he's hung onto those things.  I know it's hard to let go of things.  But it's affecting us and our children.  So I've been working on getting him to realize that talking to a counselor may be a really good thing for him.  I've been chipping away slowly at his resistance, in as gentle and loving of a manner as I can.  Guess what?  It's finally worked!  He's even suggested that we both go to the first appointment with the counselor so I can help explain some of the behaviors I see with him.  I'm almost crying right now, just typing that he's agreed.  I've been suggesting it since we started dating 10 years ago!  I want him to be as happy as he can possibly be and it's so hard to do that when you carry an angry, hurting, bitter child around inside of yourself.  I'm really hoping he'll embrace this opportunity and give it all he's got!

Okay, enough with the heavy topics!  I've been doing so much better about going to the gym lately.  We've been doing it as a family, taking the kids to the child care area and then my husband runs off to the weight room (he's a bit obsessed with Arnold and would love to sport some similar muscles.....) and I go off to walk the track.  I've been doing a two mile walk every time we go.  I know, it's not much, but I need to start somewhere.  I've even signed up to follow a blog by a woman here in the Twin Cities, Prior Fat Girl.  She's managed to lose 90 lbs!  It's incredible to see stories like that.  I'm not so focused on losing weight, although that would be fantastic!  I would much rather be more active, healthier, and just plain happier.  I love my anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds and I know I'll never be able to leave them behind (for my sanity and the sanity of my husband), but I wish the doctors would stress more how helpful exercise can be to your moods.  All those wonderful hormones that it tells your body to release!  It all just makes you so much happier!  Not to mention the people-watching and the incredible selection of eye-candy!  Don't get me wrong, my husband is still the best eye-candy I've ever seen, but wow, it's so much fun to go to the gym and just look!  One of my favorite parts of walking around the track....there's almost always some really toned man running around, no matter what the hour!  And super bonus from today...I could almost swear that I saw T.R. Knight at the gym, on one of the recumbent bikes!  I'm serious!  He looked just like the actor, with a few extra pounds added on and it's not so far-fetched considering that the actor is from Minneapolis!  Not sure what he'd be doing at our gym, but still....it could have been him.  Now, if I could just catch a few glimpses of a Vin Diesel look-alike....


  1. I can imagine how happy you must feel right now. That's great. :)

    I need to check out Prior Fat Girl. 90 lbs is impressive.

    Even if it wasn't T.R. Knight, let's just pretend it was. It makes the story much better that way! ;)

  2. Who is T.R. Knight? I think I have been writing too many blogs and don't know what is going on in the "entertainment world".

    On your hubby...this is fantastic and I so wish I could give you a high-five and a belly bump Cindy!!! WAHOO. You were very insightful about him being happier living without carrying around the "hurt child" - you should be a therapist. That shit sounded DEEP.

    Also...yes, I whole-heartedly agree on exercising making you feel better! That is why I do it 6 days a week. I have some of my best mind-clearing moments while running...and some doozy of blog post ideas enter my mind too. It helps me in so many ways...I would give up blogging before exercising any day. LOL...and that is saying something for sure.

    Love you!!!

  3. Reyna, T.R. Knight played George O'Malley on Grey's Anatomy. I think he's heading to Broadway for a play part soon.

    Hehe....I read somewhere that therapists are some of the most messed up people! I suppose you have to have some personal experience before you can know how to help others!