Saturday, October 23, 2010

If you think farting is funny.....

It's okay, you can laugh at me tonight.  I'm laughing at me.

I've had a bit of a rough day.  It didn't get off to the best start.  It never does when I wake up to find that my not-so-wonderful Aunt Flo (AF from here on out) has arrived.  I actually used to have to take codeine for the pain that comes with AF.  I'm trying to combat it with just extra-strength midol and ibuprofen now.  It's not cutting it.  And there are a few uncomfortable friends that AF brings with her.  Cravings, lack of energy, moodiness....oh, it's a blast having unwanted visitors, isn't it?  So, this morning AF showed up.  And I just wanted to crawl back into bed all day long.  Luckily, my wonderfully amazing husband let me sleep in this morning.  Even better since the kids woke up at the ass-crack-of-dawn!  Unfortunately, the combination of those two always puts my husband in a cranky, angry, resentful kind of mood with me for the rest of the day until I remember to sit down in front of him, look him full in the face, and tell him how incredibly much I appreciate that he does that.  Just thanking him for it repeatedly is not enough, I guess.  You'd think I'd learn.  Must add groveling at the feet of my husband to my list of things to do next time he lets me sleep in.  Anyway, back to the story.....AF for me means lots of discomfort.  I've actually had surgery to try to figure out why this is, but so far, there is no answer to it.  I spend days in misery, not wanting to do anything but curl up under a warm, fuzzy blanket and eat everything salty and sweet that I can get my hands on.  Unfortunately, wallowing in my misery isn't an option and if I missed working out today, on day 19 of my 30-day challenge...I would be so incredibly disappointed in myself!  So, this evening, I packed up my stuff, put on workout clothes and went off to the gym.....

Here's an uncomfortable fact....increases in hormones cause digestive issues for me.  This accounts for a great deal of my misery.  Want to know a second uncomfortable fact?  Exercising speeds up the digestive process. When I got to the gym tonight, I kept all of that in mind when I chose an elliptical to use for my workout.  I specifically chose one far away from anyone else.  No one, anywhere close.  You can guess what comes next, right?  Someone had to come and ruin my solitude, just five minutes into my hour-long workout.  Never mind that there are 15 other ellipticals and only one other person working out on one.  I would have felt bad for what came next, but really, she could have picked another elliptical!  For the next 30 minutes, the poor woman had to deal with the silent-but-deadly version of noxious emissions.  You know the kind...the sulfurous-smelling ones.  My face is still turning bright red, even as I type that.  It's embarrassing!  But really, what can you do?  Hold it all in, and you spend the entire time clenching your butt while trying to resist the urge to double over in pain.

It's okay, you can laugh about it.  After you get over how icky all that is.  Now, I think I'm going to head to bed before my insane craving for buttery, salted popcorn gets the best of me!


  1. Oh Cindy I have been there! I'm so proud of you for getting out and working out in the midst of you misery. I have super painful menses as well. Laughing with you tonight.

  2. OMG...I am totally chuckling while reading this AND no, not's called "life". I'm with Heidi, I am so proud of you for getting out there and getting it done!

    I ran 3 miles yesterday... Had to go short b/c today is a 13 mile run. Wish me luck, it is my final long training run prior to my 1/2 marathon in 2 weeks. It will be my longest run ever to-date!! WOOT!

  3. YOU GO GIRL!!!! Bring it to the gym -- ALL OF IT!

    Bertha, as she's known over here, always causes me to binge eat on Cheetos and Chocolate. Let me rephrase that. **I** do the eating. She provides the peer pressure that I can't seem to resist.


    And, really, WHY did Chica have to go and ruin YOUR personal space? It's like choosing the chair right beside you in an otherwise empty doctor's waiting room or parking too close to the line when the other rows are empty.


  4. In our house it is called, "the point." "mom is on her point," the boys say. I told them once it was called my period, and I'm grumpy and not to take it personally...and from period they got point.

    I'm SO proud of you for going out and doing your thing! As you said, your neighbor asked for it! She chose to the one right next to you!!

  5. OK...So I did it...13 miles running in the rain in 38 degrees - UGH. At least there was no wind right?