Saturday, October 16, 2010


Pure honesty here....I'm not entirely sure why any of you bother to read any of what I write!  Really, I don't think I'm that interesting of a person and I'm pretty sure I'm not saying anything profound.  But I appreciate all of you reading and leaving me such encouraging and positive comments!  You can't imagine how much your comments mean to me!

A quick warning.....this post isn't going to be pretty.  In fact, I think if people take what I have to say tonight in a certain way, they could be down-right offended.  Please understand that I'm not meaning to offend anyone, but I do wish to be brutally honest with this post tonight.  I'm hoping that by sharing my own little epiphany, maybe others will have one of their own.

Here's what I want to tell you tonight: The absolute greatest injustice my mother has done to me was done by modeling for me the lifestyle that she did.  I'm not blaming my mom for the lifestyle I've led.  Ultimately, I know it's been my choice to live the way I have.  Just as it was my choice to not be the type of parent that my parents modeled for me.  My mom was a stay-home mom when I was little.  Her afternoons were spent watching soap operas.  Our mornings were spent watching Sesame Street.  She didn't clean house much, but she did prepare a complete from-scratch dinner every night.  She had a secret stash of treats for herself that we weren't allowed to eat.  I remember that whenever we went to the store, we stopped at Hardee's (the ONLY fast-food in town) for lunch.  For as long as I can remember, my mom has complained about her weight, held-off on buying new clothing, signed up for every fad diet that came out, worn clothing that was too small and too tight and uncomfortable just to avoid going up a size.  But never, not once, did she take on an exercise program.  This is the lifestyle she taught my siblings and me.

Here's my epiphany:  Every behavior, every habit, every attitude we display is something we are modeling for our children.  Our children look to us to know how to act, how to respond, how to live.  They learn how to eat, how to exercise, how to be kind or how to be rude.  All from us.  And here I was, teaching my children the exact same lifestyle that my mom taught me.  When that realization came to me, I cried.  I sobbed.  I DO NOT WANT MY CHILDREN TO LIVE LIKE I HAVE BEEN!  I don't want them to learn how to sit down and watch tv for hours.  I don't want them to learn how to stock their cupboards with things that should be for occasional indulgences only.  I don't want them to learn to eat out of boredom and stress.  I don't want them to learn to sit on their rear-ends all day long without ever straining their bodies, challenging themselves, or just taking the time to treat their bodies as they should be treated.

Realizing that has changed me.  That's why this is no longer about losing weight.  My 30-day challenge is about creating a new habit, building a new life, being a better model for my children.  The absolute worst thing I could do to my children is to teach them to live the kind of life that I've been living.  Knowing that is a powerful motivator.  Knowing that is making me challenge myself to create new habits, break old ones, and be a healthier person.  Because when it comes down to it, I don't want to look in my child's eyes and see the unhappiness, guilt, and pain that I've seen in my own eyes.

That is as honest as it gets!


  1. Good for you! It takes a lot of work, but it is well worth it to have all the energy to do what you want with your children without feeling extra exhausted due to our bodies giving out. I know we'll never be fully rested as parents of CWD, but we can be our top notch. This is getting me too as I find it hard to fit in exercise, but know that if I don't eventually I won't be healthy enough to enjoy my children as I want. So...I will make the time to exercise, it is a priority!
    Enjoy your weekend, hope it's as beautiful in your neck of the woods as it has been here :)

  2. Yep, yep, and YEP!!! I agree with it all, whole-heartedly Cindy. I think that is what motivated me 7 years ago. I changed over my eating habits big time. I was always fairly good at exercising, but have even taken that up a notch over the past few years.

    I feel like a happier person when I exercise and hopefully I am a good role model for Bridget and Joe. Keep up with your awesome habit changes Cindy. We all love you!!!

  3. I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY! This has been an evolving work in progress for us over here. At first it was just learning not to HATE diabetes out loud. That was really hard for me -- I wanted to curse it every chance I could, but then realized it was part of my perfect daughter and I must learn to embrace it.

    From there I needed to pick up the pace. I've been exercising regularly for over 2 years. It started with daily bike rides - I've done yoga, step aerobics, Zumba (my FAVORITE), and most recently just getting into the routine of going to the gym everyday after dropping Sugar off at school. I've had to switch up activities as our schedules change with school/summer/vacation/activities -- but I've managed to keep exercise a priority.

    Now I must tackle my diet. While I don't eat poorly all the time, I DO tend to binge. I'll binge on chocolate or Cheetos during hormone changes and stressful circumstances in a heartbeat. I'll also eat beyond the feeling of fullness just because it's there....and it still LOOKS yummy so I want to take another bite.

    We keep the TV OFF most of the day. We don't have any video game systems (except for a couple handheld educational things), and the girls don't get on the computer very often. **I** have been working on breaking my addiction to the computer, which is why I'm not around as much as I used to be.

    I do have some basic chores that I complete everyday before allowing myself time to indulge in a book or blogs. I can't say I'm a deep house cleaner, but I do make sure things are picked up and uncluttered...I keep up with the dishes and I do make dinner every night.

    Great awesome to know I'm not alone!

  4. Sounds like we are on the same page friend. I just blogged about some similar stuff. Keep up the great work!

  5. Great Post! I too feel like enough is enough. It is time to take charge!