Sunday, September 5, 2010

My greatest joy and deepest pleasure

I thought about calling this my "guilty" pleasure, but really, there's no guilt involved.  So it can't be a guilty pleasure, right?  Obviously, this isn't diabetes-related.  Diabetes itself involves no pleasure at all, although we can find joy in many things in spite of diabetes.  Here's the thing that gives me the greatest pleasure in life....cuddling with my children!  I've co-slept with both my children.  I don't know how many parents really do co-sleep, but every time I read an article about co-sleeping, it's the same thing all over again...."co-sleeping is bad and shouldn't be done."  Black and white.  Every time, I want to tell the author and the publication to go stuff it!  I never intended to co-sleep with my children and never would have thought I'd be a parent who would allow that.  But honestly, co-sleeping has been one of my absolute favorite parts of being a parent!  And I, personally, wouldn't have it any other way!

I needed a break from posting about my life as a diabetic.  I still have a bit more I want to share about it, but I needed a break.  And then I saw an article about co-sleeping and felt like I should talk about this on here.  You see, all these articles make me so mad sometimes.  I don't think that everyone should co-sleep.  It's not for everyone.  But these articles that make co-sleeping sound like it's so bad, that tell you that it increases the risk of SIDS...I hate them!  First of all, SUFFOCATION is not SIDS!  SIDS is sudden and unexplainable.  If a child suffocates while sleeping with a parent or in an adult bed...that death is explainable.  It is not SIDS.  In fact, a little known piece of information is that co-sleeping may actually decrease the risk of SIDS.  Secondly, if a parent is going to co-sleep, they should know how to do it safely.  When both Lily and Leo were little, I gave up using blankets.  No big pillows, no fluffy blankets.  I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, and I don't take any kind of medication to make me sleep harder.  I'm a pretty light sleeper and I'm pretty in-tune with what's going on with my baby all night long.  I make sure the environment my child is sleeping in is safe, even if it's in my arms!

My favorite comment to get from people about the argument that I'm ruining my children, that babies need to learn to put themselves to sleep.  Oh, how I love this comment!  Seriously, have you ever seen an 18-year-old man who couldn't fall asleep without his mommy?  Show me one, and I just might start buying into this argument!  I love being there when my babies fall asleep, holding them as they drift off.  Lily refuses to let me do that anymore!  She's been kicking me out of her bedroom since she was 18-months old.  I hate that!  But she falls asleep on her own, no crying, no fussing, no anxiety or fear.  I'm guessing all people learn to put themselves to sleep at some point or another, no matter what their parents choose to do.  I've never had to let my children cry themselves to sleep.  To me, that means a lot.  Besides, what better way to spend an evening than curled up in bed with Leo's head on my shoulder and my hands across his back as he cuddles in and falls asleep?

Don't get me wrong.  I don't think co-sleeping is the only way.  I don't even think it's what other people should do.  It doesn't work for everyone.  It's not the right choice for some people.  Some people swear by the cry-it-out method.  We all choose what we think it's best for our families.  I just wish co-sleeping was as accepted and supported as some of the other options.

Okay, off to test Lily one last time and get in one last cuddle with her.  The cuddle gives me something wonderful to look forward to when I don't really feel like staying awake to test her!


  1. I'm sorry but the vision of the 18 year old boy needing his mommy to sleep is making me laugh.

    Cindy, I think you are totally is up to each family to determine what works for them in their situation. I did not co-sleep. I worked nights when my children were young and my husband is a HEAVY sleeper.

    Good for you on speaking out on this and enjoy your co-sleeping...these days pass too fast.

  2. We co-sleep and I wouldn't give it up for anything...actually I fought for it at the hospital with Isaac's dx. They wanted him in one of those horrible cribs that looks more like a cage, I told them I'd rather hold him all day and all night than ever set him in it. So, they got him a bed, not a toddler bed, but a real bed. I was also told to stop nursing, and I told them to shove it. I'm not the greatest of followers of instructions when it goes agains my motherly intuition.
    So, you're not alone.
    co-sleep away and enjoy every bit of it!

  3. I say if it works for you and it doesn't harm your child... then go for it. We don't co-sleep, it's just not for me (Elise did sleep on my chest for the first two weeks of her life and it was too much). I was also told to stop nursing Elise after her dx and I basically told them the same thing Sarah did. I nursed her for almost a year and a half after dx with no issues.

    Most times, Momma really does know best.

  4. HI FIVE!

    I was a co-sleeping mama...still am to some extent. My girls have eventually found their ways into their own beds, but not a single night goes by that at least one doesn't show up again :)

    I nursed everyone for 2 - 2.5 years. I have no idea how we would have ever been successful at nursing had we not co-slept.

  5. We were a co-sleeping family, too. It just didn't seem natural to me to put my baby in her own room. I wanted her near me. And it made nursing so much easier.

    My kids are now 5, 7 and almost 9. They've been in their own beds for years now, but they still make their way into our bedroom from time to time. I savor those moments, knowing there will come a time when they won't want to be with us.

    But I agree that it's not for every family, and we all have to do what works best for us.