Uncomfortable truths

Oh, how I love my husband!  He's incredibly wonderful and incredibly amazing.  A hard-worker (sometimes too hard of a worker!), a good provider. and terrifically blunt when it's needed.  We had a conversation the other day.  I was complaining about my need for a new winter coat and how I really don't want to buy one because I don't like the size I'm going to have to buy.  His response?  "You're sounding like your mother."  Did you ever have one of those teachers in high school who came up and slammed the top of your desk with his open hand because you'd fallen asleep?  It's the same exact effect!  Seriously.  You see, for as long as I can remember, my mom has been over-weight.  I have no problem with that.  But her response to being over-weight is to not buy herself new clothes because she wants to lose weight first.  Or, if she does buy new clothes, she buys them a size or two smaller than what would be comfortable and squeezes into them anyway.  I love my mom.  I really do.  But, squeezing an over-weight body into smaller-sized Disney sweatshirts and jeans is just plain painful and unattractive.  Personally, I can't stand wearing clothing that cuts into me or fits uncomfortably.  So I've been good about buying the right size of clothing.  I just don't want to spend much on myself.  I suspect that would be true no matter what size I am though.  Anyway, back to the point.  My husband's words echoed something I'd read earlier in the week.  Jen, from Prior Fat Girl, wrote a post about the desire to lose weight.  She basically said, you can wish for it, hope for it, pray for it, yearn for it, but if you really want it, you'll do the work for it.  All the wishing, hoping, praying, yearning will not bring you weight loss.  Hard work and determination will.  I've been busy doing all the wishing, praying, hoping, yearning, for years.  But I haven't done the work.  So, now I'm getting busy with trying to do the work.  I've been walking 2-3 miles daily for the last week.  I'm limiting my calories to 1500/day.  I'm trying to make healthier eating choices.  I'm trying to work on my whole self-perception, self-love kind of thing.  That's the hard part for me. I'm not my biggest fan.  Biggest critic, definitely.  Anyway, in my quest for self-love, I'm going to share some facts that I've become aware of in the past few days.  I need to embrace my faults, just as much as my strengths!

1.  I AM starting to sound like my mother.  Must stop that now!
2. I've spent far too long making excuses for my lack of activity.  Excuses need to end now!
3. If I want to be healthier, I must sacrifice and work hard.  That's just reality.
4. I'm teaching my children an unhealthy way of life too.  Definitely not something I want them to learn!
5. It's incredibly easy to be your own biggest critic.  Not so easy to be your own biggest fan.  But if you're not a fan of yourself, then who else is going to be?
6. It is not pretty when I sweat.  But it's not supposed to be and who cares that it's not anyway?
7. There are always going to be excuses for not exercising.  But the reasons for it far outweigh the excuses.
8. Adding in exercise with diabetes is a HUGE pain!  It results in major insulin reactions all day long, all night long.  I need to suck it up and do it anyway.
9. My children deserve much better than I'm giving them right now.
10. The most uncomfortable truth...I'm worth the effort.

To finish that all off, I'm going to be brave and share a photo of me after my workout today, sweat and all.  I'll warn you, I'm not kidding or exaggerating when I say it's not pretty!

Reyna, it's going to be a very long time before I sport a bikini....maybe in my next life!  For now, I think I'll just be happy with being healthier and more active.

On a happier note....I absolutely ADORE my backyard at this time of year and thought I'd share some pictures with all of you, just because it's so incredibly gorgeous.  The kids and I are spending every spare minute we can out there on the swing set and playing with chalk on the cement while the warm weather lasts.  It'll be cold again before we know it!

Beautiful, isn't it?  I love autumn for this reason alone!  All the beautiful colors in the trees!