Wednesday, August 3, 2011

When sweet turns bitter...

I had this experience once when I was a child.  My step-dad, who had a profound drinking problem, had a 7-Up can in the garage where he was tinkering with an old truck he owned.  I took a drink, expecting the crisp, cool, sweet taste of 7-Up.  Yeah, not so much.  Turns out he'd replaced it with something a bit stronger and with a much less pleasant taste to it.  I'm going through an experience that reminded me a bit of that one....I expected to taste something sweet and it turned out to be pretty darn sour!  My wonderful husband earns rewards at work that he can cash in on gift cards.  He used his rewards to order a large enough gift card for me to spend on a night away.  In a hotel.  All by myself.  Seriously, do you have any idea how precious that kind of a gift is?  I wanted to cry over how sweet the thought of that is, how incredible his gesture was.  It just so happens that my oldest sister's birthday is this month.  She's turning 40.  My three other older sisters decided we should do something special for her birthday.  A night away at a hotel in central Minnesota on a night when Bret Michaels is playing at the casino just down the road.  So, hotel and concert and a night away with my sisters.  Sounds F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!  I was so excited!  But here comes the bitter mom is coming with.  My mom is desperate to be "one of the girls" and even though Bret Michaels really isn't her kind of music (she's more old-school country) and my sisters plan to drink themselves silly (my mom has been in Al-Anon for over 20 years), my mom insists that she is coming with.  I love my mom.  But, some of the sweetness of this idea has worn away to show a little bit of bitterness.  Ah....we can't have it all though, right?

Anyway, there's more to this post than just the complaint above.  I have a fitness update!  After months and months of being stuck on a plateau, I've finally fallen off the cliff on the other side!  My weight is back to dropping.  I'm down a total of 43 lbs right now!  I've picked up a tape measure and done a full set of measurements so that I can keep better track of how the fat is coming off.  I don't know if the break in the plateau is just because it was time or if it's because of diet changes (more veggies and protein, less refined carbs), the heart-rate monitor, the sprint-training, or just the phases of the moon.  For whatever reasons that the weight is coming off again, I'm happy I've been keeping at the exercise and making more positive lifestyle changes.  I'm feeling great, even if I'm still not getting nearly as much sleep as I should!  And even better than the weight-loss...I've gone from wearing size XL to L and my size 16 pants are now getting a bit too loose!  I even splurged on a few new t-shirts and some skirts from Athleta.  I love, love, love their clothing!  It feels great to see all of the changes.  A year ago, I hated having my picture taken!  I'm still not a huge fan of it, but it's not nearly as embarrassing anymore.  In fact, I'll share a couple of pics with you so you can see the difference:

January 2010

July 2011

Pretty big difference, I think.  I still have quite a ways to go, but the fact that I no longer have triple chins and I can't see the rolls underneath my boobs when I look down now makes me feel pretty good about it all.  And seriously, best of all is that I can chase after my kids, run around the backyard with them and I don't get winded!  Yay for being a fun mom!

Okay, one last thing before I head to bed for the night.  I just wanted to say a great big "thank you" to everyone who commented on my last post and a very special thanks to Sarah.  Your comment made me tear up!  It's that sense of "same", of finding someone who actually understands it.  A diabetes diagnosis for your child is heartbreaking no matter who you are.  But for me, it was shattering.  My heart didn't just break, it shattered into a million pieces and they flew off in a million directions.  And there everyone is, expecting you to take it so much better than other parents because you're already familiar with the disease!  As awful as it was for our family and yours, it's nice to know that there are others who understand and went through similar emotions, even though people thought we shouldn't!  That knowledge, my dear friend, is a priceless gift!  So, thank you!

Confession for the night....I heard my neighbor, whom I'd never met, yelling at her kids the other day.  It made me, am I glad we haven't met!  Why would I want to meet this person?  And then, last week, I heard her outside with her kids and I sucked up my pre-judgement and dragged the kids over to say "hello".  Turns out she's actually a really nice person!  Her two boys are energetic and drive her crazy and she's spending the summer as a stay-home-mom while she's in between jobs as a nurse.  Meeting her taught me an important lesson....I'm sure others judge me when I'm having an off-day too!  I need to keep my judgements in check and not let them keep me from seeking out the truth of a person.  I would've missed out on meeting a really wonderful neighbor had I not thrown the judgement out the window and ran off without it!


  1. Great job on pushing past that plateau! I love that I can hear the positive tone in this post. And so true about judging people before you've gotten to know them...I think everyone is a little guilty of that at some point or another!

  2. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! I wish I could report the same magnificent results with my weight loss journey, but I can't :(

    You look AMAZING!

    Ditto on the judgments...we're all living this life, and we're all doing the best we can. Sometimes it doesn't look that way to an outsider, but everyone deserves a fair shot at friendship.

    I hope you enjoy your night away, my friend. You deserve it!

  3. Cindy you're doing great! Thanks for sharing pics with us. I am having a bit of a difficulty sharing pics of myself lately...not sure why, but figure people are more interested in the kiddos than in me...or at least that's what I tell myself!
    I agree with the judgement factor, man it's difficult and I keep eating large portions of humble pie as I grow up and realize that everybody has an incredible story to share ;)

  4. ps. your night out sounds incredible (sans ma even better...but who knows!) I've always been a huge fan of Bret Michaels! and thanks for the shout out, I do appreciate that "same" feeling across the many miles, yet short emotional distance we travel here in the DOC!

  5. Lookin' good, mama! Hope to be able to share some improvement pictures once I get my rear in gear!! :)
    Bummer about the mom-tag-along issue. Hope it all turns out fun regardless!

  6. You are doing GREAT Cindy! You look fantastic and the SMILE on your beautiful face says it all. You are feeling happy with yourself. That is priceless!

    And yep...we are all doing the best we can with the tools we have at the time we are in. Judgements are hard to shake...but they should be put to the side. I am so glad that you got to meet this gal.

    And..have fun with the sisters...and...ahemm...Ma. Love ya!