Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Post #2...a letter


I'm late.  Sorry!  I just couldn't make it back to the computer for a post yesterday.  The kids and I have been avoiding the house as much as possible so we can all stay out of the way.  I'm happy to say that the demolision phase of our bathroom remodel is just about complete.  Yay!  Wow, was that a fun one!  Turns out that the person who built our house more than 40 years ago cut some interesting corners.  There are no support boards under the subflooring.  Instead, the builder compensated for the lack of support by laying a half-inch-thick layer of concrete over the subflooring.  Yikes!  And the icing on that particular cake?  The five feet of shower tiles on the walls around the bathtub were adhered to said walls with chicken wire and more concrete!  I have to give my husband and his dad a ton of credit for managing to rip all that out! 

Anyway, back to the posting.  My "letter" is really more of a memo to my daughter's endocrinologist.  It's short and sweet:

Dear Dr. A,
I would like to steal you.  You could be my family's personal endocrinologist.  Won't you please consider branching out into practicing your magic on adults with type I diabetes too?

Now, I feel like I should explain this for those of you who choose to read it.  I was debating this post, trying to decide what I should write.  I could have written a long letter to Lily, apologizing for her developing diabetes, for passing that one thing on to her that I never wanted her to have.  The guilt that goes with that is incredible sometimes.  But, that doesn't really do anyone any good.  And that it occurred to me....I have a unique perspective that comes from dealing with endocrinologists all my life.  Many of you will be lucky to escape this fate, because your children will eventually be dealing with endocrinologists on their own.  But, that doesn't mean it won't help you to hear these kinds of things!

I love Lily's endocrinologist!  I adore her!  Dr. A is awesomely fantastic and fifty different kinds of wonderful.  She's amazing.  Her goal in the care of all her patients is to teach them and lead them through their journey to the finish line.  That finish line is titled "SELF-MANAGEMENT".  She understands that each of her patients is unique, each is at a different point in life, each has a unique way of living and accomodating diabetes in his or her life.  Each child she works with is an individual!  It is an incredible thing for a doctor to realize that!  For that reason, I seriously would love to steal her for my own endocrinologist!  Want to know what the one single very big incredibly enormous problem is with her?  She's a pediatric endocrinologist.  She doesn't treat adults. 

That leads me to the flip-side of this.  I have yet to find an endocrinologist that I want to trust with my own treatment.  Part of the problem is me.  I'm a bit of a hostile patient.  I don't like them messing with my things.  Don't come into my exam room and tell me what changes to make to my basal and bolus settings.  I am an adult.  A reasonably intelligent one too!  For that reason, I expect to be given the courtesy of a doctor discussing my care with me and not making decisions without me.  Chances are, I've probably made several adjustments in my own care in the last few weeks and you won't know that until you talk to me.  Also, I'm not a textbook.  I may have the same disease as the guy in the next room, but we're not the same patient.  Don't try to treat us with the same regimine.  The results will be different.  Because we are individuals and how dare you ever forget that!  We're both going to make mistakes and have problems now and then.  Your input is appreciated, but don't ever forget that the ultimate decision on what is going to be done to accomodate diabetes in our lives is going to be made by us, the patients. 

I have one last big beef to add to my complaints with endocrinologists.  And really, this is doctors in general.  All doctors, not just endocrinologists.  The lack of plain talk and honesty is APPALLING!  Seriously, it is.  Doctors, as a group, should not be held to the same expectations of using PC bullcrap to talk to their patients.  I'm tired of them pussy-footing around.  Instead of telling me I'm overweight, which I'm perfectly aware of, maybe you should start looking at lifestyle and tell me instead that I'm not leading a healthy enough life, my style isn't incorporating enough activity.  I'm lazy.  Seriously.  I'm tired of doctors talking about weight in hush-hush, don't-want-to-offend tones.  Come on out with it!  You can tell us the truth.  If we don't like it, too bad!  But the only way positive changes can happen is if we address the root of the issues and face things head on.  My weight was never the problem, in my eyes.  It was a result of me being phenomenally lazy!  I'm not saying that hearing that from a doctor would have changed things for me, but imagine what a jolt it would have been to be told to get up off my ass and start moving before I gave myself a heart attack.  Who know, maybe that would have done the trick!

I have a ton of cement and drywall dust to remove from my home, so I think I'll end my rant there for the night.  And I'm a day behind in the posting already!  Wonder if I can find the time to clean up and then start on post #3?  We'll have to see....


  1. So important to have a teammate in this journey. I hope you are able to find one...or convince Lily's to start treating adults (or at least you!!)
    Good luck with the concrete!! We've found beer bottles in some of the walls we've 'fixed' in our house. Gotta love it!!

  2. Cindy...well said. I have worked with many MDs in my day. I like the "straight shooters".


    Good luck with your bathroom.