Oh, man, am I sore tonight! My muscles are hurting a bit. I actually took it easy on myself today. Instead of hopping right on the Octane elliptical, I went for the Life Fitness version. I managed to do an entire 50 minutes, followed by a 5-minute cool down. It felt awesome at the time! No worries though. Ibuprofen is my friend at the moment. And tomorrow, when I get back at it, I'm sure my muscles will ease up again. And hey, looking on the bright side....I have muscles! A whole lot more than I did before I started all this! I have four more days to go before that one much needed day of rest. I'm actually kind of nervous about taking a day off. I'm afraid one day will lead to another and another and I'll lose all of the progress I've made. I'm thinking that day of rest just might be spent doing something semi-active...like taking the kids to the pool for an hour or two. Or running around a park with them for a bit, if it's nice out. We'll have to see how things go.
Lily's not feeling so hot tonight. She refused to eat any dinner. Normally, I'd push a little bit to at least get a couple of bites into her. But she had a melt-down just before dinner and chose to cuddle up with me in her bed until she calmed down. She would have happily agreed to fall asleep then and there, I think! I convinced her to eat a cup of pudding (with sprinkles, or it would have been a no-go), put some fuzzy, feety-jammies on her, and then took her off to bed. She was out and snoring by 6:30! Poor girl! I'm hoping she just needed a little extra sleep and will be back to her usual happy self tomorrow. I'm dying to take her trick-or-treating! Until then, I'll be testing her often throughout the night and sacrificing my own sleep to make sure she's staying stable and steady. Luckily my husband has offered to let me sleep in again! Gotta love that man, for that reason alone!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
The three D's....
I'll give you a quick hint...diabetes isn't one of the D's I'll be talking about tonight! Before I get into that though, I want to say...I LOVE getting all the comments that so many of you are leaving. The ones about being inspired by me, the ones about being active and eating right and doing whatever all of you are doing to make positive changes, the suggestions (Sarah, thanks for yours! I think I'm going to take up the 15g before bed suggestion!). I love reading all of them! I've honestly never thought of myself as something special and I have no clue how so many of you can find my efforts inspiring, but I'm so glad that so many of you are making positive changes too! And I love hearing about all of them!
Today was a rough one. I think my body is getting a bit worn out at this point. I lasted about 20 minutes on the Octane elliptical today. Finished it off with a 3 minute cool down period to give my body a chance to catch up to me and then I headed over to the Life Fitness elliptical for another 30 minutes. It's funny, when I first start, it feels like my legs are screaming for me to stop, refusing to move. But when it's all over and I'm done with the workout, it feels more like they're thanking me for keeping going. I feel great afterwards! I am really looking forward to having a day off when I'm done with the next 5 days though! Today, I finished up just in time. As I was getting dressed after my shower, I heard my name being paged. Lily has a habit of lying down in a corner of the child care center when her blood sugar is dropping. Luckily, the child care workers are phenomenal! They call for me right away and they always have a few little treats stashed away, just in case. I came in to find Lily cuddling with one of the workers and sucking on her "treat" (a lollipop). I tested her and 82 popped up on the meter.
Okay, on to the three D's. Destructive, depressing, demoralizing. I could think of a few more D's to go on that list too, I'm sure. I'm pointing my finger at a common household item in all of their bathrooms when I'm saying those three words. Your bathroom scale. It is destructive, depressing, and demoralizing. Here's the problem with the bathroom scale....how many times do we start on a "weight loss journey"? We work our butts off, push ourselves, and then we go to the scale and find that we haven't dropped more than a couple of pounds or we've put on weight instead of taking it off. Or maybe we've lost a good amount, but instead of seeing how far we've come, we focus on how far we have to go until we get to that magic number. We all have a magic number. If only I weighed x pounds, I'd be happy. I'd love my body. I'd have more friends, I'd be more out-going, more confident, healthier, happier. And you know what? Even if we did weigh x pounds, we still wouldn't be happy. We'd have all the same problems we have now. We would weigh x pounds and we'd be obsessed with trying to maintain that weight, trying not to indulge in emotional eating, trying to exercise and be active enough to keep that weight. The scale drives us to be chained to that magic number, to be depressed about the number we see pop up, to be demoralized by our current weights, and to destroy our weight-loss goals. Why do we do that to ourselves when the number on the scale means nothing to our over-all health? The fact is, a woman who weighs 200 lbs could be a whole lot healthier than one who weighs 125. The 125 lb woman could just have a higher metabolism. If she doesn't get daily exercise, she's not all that healthy. If the 200 lb woman gets moderate exercise daily and eats well, she could be in perfect health. The number that pops up on the scale isn't important. Want a more concrete example? I'm a whole lot healthier now, at whatever weight I am now (258, when I started 25 days ago), than I was when I was 19, weighed 170 and manipulated my diabetes in order to weigh that amount.
So, here's my suggestion. My plea for all of you who are trying to be healthier. Rethink your goal. Don't think, "I want to weigh x amount." Do me (and yourselves) a huge favor and shove that scale deep into the closet with the understanding that you will not touch it for the next 30 days. Instead, set your sights on something else. My goal right now, I want to be able to run a 5k in the spring. That's a concrete goal. My less concrete goals...to build muscle, to drop some fat, to exercise for an hour each day, to add more fruits and vegetables into my diet (more vegetables than fruit though!). For now, I'm concentrating on the exercise though. I'm paying more attention to the changes in my body. I've misplaced a few inches somewhere. Not quite sure where they've gone, but the waist and thighs of my jeans are looser, my bras aren't fitting very well anymore, my t-shirts are looser. I finally caved and bought myself that winter coat that I need for this winter. Twenty-five days ago, I would have had to buy a size 3X in order for it to not look like I had stuffed myself into it. Today, I bought a 2X and there's still a few extra inches. That is an awesome feeling!
Okay, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for a good, no-low night for both Lily and me tonight! And for the rest of the d-kids and parents! I'm hoping a little extra sleep tomorrow morning (my husband says he's going to let me sleep in!) will kick my fatigue out so I can get back to challenging myself a bit!
Today was a rough one. I think my body is getting a bit worn out at this point. I lasted about 20 minutes on the Octane elliptical today. Finished it off with a 3 minute cool down period to give my body a chance to catch up to me and then I headed over to the Life Fitness elliptical for another 30 minutes. It's funny, when I first start, it feels like my legs are screaming for me to stop, refusing to move. But when it's all over and I'm done with the workout, it feels more like they're thanking me for keeping going. I feel great afterwards! I am really looking forward to having a day off when I'm done with the next 5 days though! Today, I finished up just in time. As I was getting dressed after my shower, I heard my name being paged. Lily has a habit of lying down in a corner of the child care center when her blood sugar is dropping. Luckily, the child care workers are phenomenal! They call for me right away and they always have a few little treats stashed away, just in case. I came in to find Lily cuddling with one of the workers and sucking on her "treat" (a lollipop). I tested her and 82 popped up on the meter.
Okay, on to the three D's. Destructive, depressing, demoralizing. I could think of a few more D's to go on that list too, I'm sure. I'm pointing my finger at a common household item in all of their bathrooms when I'm saying those three words. Your bathroom scale. It is destructive, depressing, and demoralizing. Here's the problem with the bathroom scale....how many times do we start on a "weight loss journey"? We work our butts off, push ourselves, and then we go to the scale and find that we haven't dropped more than a couple of pounds or we've put on weight instead of taking it off. Or maybe we've lost a good amount, but instead of seeing how far we've come, we focus on how far we have to go until we get to that magic number. We all have a magic number. If only I weighed x pounds, I'd be happy. I'd love my body. I'd have more friends, I'd be more out-going, more confident, healthier, happier. And you know what? Even if we did weigh x pounds, we still wouldn't be happy. We'd have all the same problems we have now. We would weigh x pounds and we'd be obsessed with trying to maintain that weight, trying not to indulge in emotional eating, trying to exercise and be active enough to keep that weight. The scale drives us to be chained to that magic number, to be depressed about the number we see pop up, to be demoralized by our current weights, and to destroy our weight-loss goals. Why do we do that to ourselves when the number on the scale means nothing to our over-all health? The fact is, a woman who weighs 200 lbs could be a whole lot healthier than one who weighs 125. The 125 lb woman could just have a higher metabolism. If she doesn't get daily exercise, she's not all that healthy. If the 200 lb woman gets moderate exercise daily and eats well, she could be in perfect health. The number that pops up on the scale isn't important. Want a more concrete example? I'm a whole lot healthier now, at whatever weight I am now (258, when I started 25 days ago), than I was when I was 19, weighed 170 and manipulated my diabetes in order to weigh that amount.
So, here's my suggestion. My plea for all of you who are trying to be healthier. Rethink your goal. Don't think, "I want to weigh x amount." Do me (and yourselves) a huge favor and shove that scale deep into the closet with the understanding that you will not touch it for the next 30 days. Instead, set your sights on something else. My goal right now, I want to be able to run a 5k in the spring. That's a concrete goal. My less concrete goals...to build muscle, to drop some fat, to exercise for an hour each day, to add more fruits and vegetables into my diet (more vegetables than fruit though!). For now, I'm concentrating on the exercise though. I'm paying more attention to the changes in my body. I've misplaced a few inches somewhere. Not quite sure where they've gone, but the waist and thighs of my jeans are looser, my bras aren't fitting very well anymore, my t-shirts are looser. I finally caved and bought myself that winter coat that I need for this winter. Twenty-five days ago, I would have had to buy a size 3X in order for it to not look like I had stuffed myself into it. Today, I bought a 2X and there's still a few extra inches. That is an awesome feeling!
Okay, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for a good, no-low night for both Lily and me tonight! And for the rest of the d-kids and parents! I'm hoping a little extra sleep tomorrow morning (my husband says he's going to let me sleep in!) will kick my fatigue out so I can get back to challenging myself a bit!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Miracle Drug has been found!
No, seriously, it has! Kind of. Except, it's not a drug. It takes a little more effort than popping a pill in your mouth and swallowing. But it really is a miracle! I'm talking about....E*X*E*R*C*I*S*E! So here's why I'm calling it the Miracle Drug.....
Poor complexion? Add in regular exercise, and you apparently sweat out all the toxins and things that are causing you to break out in massive pimples everywhere.
Can't sleep? Work your muscles each day and you just might find that you can actually sleep!
Joint pain? Well, that could possibly be from carrying around more weight than your frame was intended for or it could just be because those joints aren't used to moving.
High cholesterol? Exercise helps with that!
Depressed? Exercise makes your body release wonderful hormones that boost your mood and can make you feel a whole lot more content!
I could seriously go on and on! I'm on Day 24 today! The last couple of days, I've headed to the gym to avoid the bitterly cold, brutal winds that have been blowing. The kids love playing in the child care center, so it's a win for all of us. I've hit the elliptical for an hour both times. I pushed myself a few days ago and really tried to step up my efforts a little bit. The challenge has been fun! I may have overdone it a little bit though! The last couple of days, I've hit a little bit of a wall. I have to push myself to keep going. Luckily, the gym has several different kinds of ellipticals (several, meaning like an insane number of different ones). The ones I've preferred to work on, Octanes, are a bit harder, a bit more resistance, I think. So on days when I feel like I can't go any further, I cut my workout short on the Octane and head over to the Life Fitness ellipticals to finish. Either way, I have managed to complete an entire hour of exercise, every day. I just make sure I pay attention to how my body is feeling, take it a little easier when I feel the need to, but keep going. And as I wrote above, I'm feeling a whole lot better! Don't think it's all good though....I've had some bumps along the road. I've had a couple of middle-of-the-night insulin reactions which are almost always followed by morning highs (sleep-reactions are the worst, I think...it seems like your body gets frantic for sugar to treat the reaction and you're nearly always half-asleep still, which leads to over-treating). You know though, it's been so worth those minor hassles! I'm planning on taking a day off once I finish the next 6 days, but I'm hoping to have just a little bit of activity on that one day. I'm scared if I take the day off completely, I'll lose my momentum and end up with more than one day off! Maybe I'll take the kids swimming at the pool or on a trip to the Minnesota Zoo. Something fun. They've earned it!
Oh, one quick thing before I head off to bed! Lily picked out an adorable little fairy outfit at Costco for Halloween. Unfortunately, it's not nearly warm enough for our Minnesota Halloween weather! So, I'm going to layer her up underneath and convince her to wear this on her head:
She's not super-thrilled with it just yet....but I'm working on convincing her!
Poor complexion? Add in regular exercise, and you apparently sweat out all the toxins and things that are causing you to break out in massive pimples everywhere.
Can't sleep? Work your muscles each day and you just might find that you can actually sleep!
Joint pain? Well, that could possibly be from carrying around more weight than your frame was intended for or it could just be because those joints aren't used to moving.
High cholesterol? Exercise helps with that!
Depressed? Exercise makes your body release wonderful hormones that boost your mood and can make you feel a whole lot more content!
I could seriously go on and on! I'm on Day 24 today! The last couple of days, I've headed to the gym to avoid the bitterly cold, brutal winds that have been blowing. The kids love playing in the child care center, so it's a win for all of us. I've hit the elliptical for an hour both times. I pushed myself a few days ago and really tried to step up my efforts a little bit. The challenge has been fun! I may have overdone it a little bit though! The last couple of days, I've hit a little bit of a wall. I have to push myself to keep going. Luckily, the gym has several different kinds of ellipticals (several, meaning like an insane number of different ones). The ones I've preferred to work on, Octanes, are a bit harder, a bit more resistance, I think. So on days when I feel like I can't go any further, I cut my workout short on the Octane and head over to the Life Fitness ellipticals to finish. Either way, I have managed to complete an entire hour of exercise, every day. I just make sure I pay attention to how my body is feeling, take it a little easier when I feel the need to, but keep going. And as I wrote above, I'm feeling a whole lot better! Don't think it's all good though....I've had some bumps along the road. I've had a couple of middle-of-the-night insulin reactions which are almost always followed by morning highs (sleep-reactions are the worst, I think...it seems like your body gets frantic for sugar to treat the reaction and you're nearly always half-asleep still, which leads to over-treating). You know though, it's been so worth those minor hassles! I'm planning on taking a day off once I finish the next 6 days, but I'm hoping to have just a little bit of activity on that one day. I'm scared if I take the day off completely, I'll lose my momentum and end up with more than one day off! Maybe I'll take the kids swimming at the pool or on a trip to the Minnesota Zoo. Something fun. They've earned it!
Oh, one quick thing before I head off to bed! Lily picked out an adorable little fairy outfit at Costco for Halloween. Unfortunately, it's not nearly warm enough for our Minnesota Halloween weather! So, I'm going to layer her up underneath and convince her to wear this on her head:
She's not super-thrilled with it just yet....but I'm working on convincing her!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
*S*I*G*H*
That title....that's me taking a great big sigh. It's been one of THOSE days. Seriously. I haven't had use of my car since this wonderful drizzly weather started (Joanne and Reyna, your hats are ready to go in the mail and will be sent out as soon as I can make it to the post office during business hours! I'm so sorry!). With the wonderful, hurricane-force winds that we've had today, the kids and I have been trapped indoors. I did manage to make it to the gym for a workout, but it took a bit of finagling. That wasn't the worst part of my day though....I'll give a quick synopsis:
Gotta go back in time a bit....my husband has been really cranky and difficult to live with lately. Work is stressing him and he feels really put-out with all that he has to do for other people. So he comes home and resents being asked to help or being obligated to help with things. I understand that he's feeling strained and being the sole-provider for our family is a major stress. But it's just not possible to get the kids to leave him be when he comes home. He's been great about letting me sleep in on the weekends, which I really appreciate. The last few weekends, his mom has been watching the kids for a couple of hours so we can spend some time together. This last Sunday, my husband looked at me and said, "you can take the kids to my mom's by yourself, right?" He decided he wanted a nap and assumed that I would be spending the time without them grocery shopping in peace. I have this horrible flaw...I sometimes say things that I shouldn't or fail to word things properly and end up causing upset with what I do say. While dropping the kids off, a whole lot of my "stresses" with my husband came out as I was explaining why he needed to get in to see the therapist. In the process of explaining, I apparently upset my mother-in-law (I said something about my husband holding onto hurt from being abused by his step-father, who used to hit him). His mom thought that this equated to "step-dad used to beat him and you were a horrible mom for letting that happen". Ah, yes...have to love the overly-dramatic interpretations. So....I spent the day arguing with my husband, who is very upset with me for saying anything at all, blames the entire thing on me (which I am mostly responsible for since I know his mom is overly-sensitive and prone to mis-interpretation). I took my frustration and upset over the incident and put them to good use....I pushed really hard on the elliptical! An hour and 5 minutes on that thing today! I kept my heart rate up in the 90% range for nearly the entire workout. Wow, did that feel good! We ended our day with an appointment with our marriage counselor, who will now become my husband's therapist for the next few months as he works through some of his unresolved issues. It actually turned into a really productive day for us! We walked away from our appointment with three follow-up appointments for my husband: one for him to take an MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), an appointment with a psychiatrist, who can help figure out which anti-anxiety medication might help him the most, and another appointment for a one-on-one session with the therapist. Hopefully all of this will equate to him working on being a much happier, healthier person so we can work on having a much happier, healthier family. It's so hard on the kids when we argue and although we try our hardest not to argue in front of them, they always seem to sense the extra tension.
Anyway, Day 22 of the challenge! Reyna, I'm so impressed that you were even able to stand after doing that 13-mile run, let alone do Kempo! Now that the forecast is saying that snow is becoming a possibility, I think the gym is going to be our refuge! Fine with me since I've been loving the elliptical lately. It's awesome to have a piece of gym equipment that is fun to use and tells you that you're burning nearly 1000 calories in an hour! Love that!
One last note, just because I'm really excited about this....About a year ago, I finally convinced my husband to let us adopt a kitten. She was adorable and I loved having her! But....I was having some allergy issues (hives) that I assumed were because of the kitten. So we gave the kitten away. Well, turned out the hives popped up every time I got stressed and were related to the anti-depressant medication I was on at the time. Ever since giving the cat away, my husband has been dead-set against getting another pet. Hehe....until his little girl started asking him! Apparently, the last couple of nights, Lily has asked her daddy if he'd like a kitty or a puppy. Let me make it clear that this has not been due to coaching from mommy. I occasionally take the kids to look at the pets in the mall's pet store, but I would never get a pet from there. I figure if Lily brings it up again for the next couple of nights, her daddy just might end up caving and telling her she can get a big kitty (no kittens in our home!). Yay! I miss having pets!
Gotta go back in time a bit....my husband has been really cranky and difficult to live with lately. Work is stressing him and he feels really put-out with all that he has to do for other people. So he comes home and resents being asked to help or being obligated to help with things. I understand that he's feeling strained and being the sole-provider for our family is a major stress. But it's just not possible to get the kids to leave him be when he comes home. He's been great about letting me sleep in on the weekends, which I really appreciate. The last few weekends, his mom has been watching the kids for a couple of hours so we can spend some time together. This last Sunday, my husband looked at me and said, "you can take the kids to my mom's by yourself, right?" He decided he wanted a nap and assumed that I would be spending the time without them grocery shopping in peace. I have this horrible flaw...I sometimes say things that I shouldn't or fail to word things properly and end up causing upset with what I do say. While dropping the kids off, a whole lot of my "stresses" with my husband came out as I was explaining why he needed to get in to see the therapist. In the process of explaining, I apparently upset my mother-in-law (I said something about my husband holding onto hurt from being abused by his step-father, who used to hit him). His mom thought that this equated to "step-dad used to beat him and you were a horrible mom for letting that happen". Ah, yes...have to love the overly-dramatic interpretations. So....I spent the day arguing with my husband, who is very upset with me for saying anything at all, blames the entire thing on me (which I am mostly responsible for since I know his mom is overly-sensitive and prone to mis-interpretation). I took my frustration and upset over the incident and put them to good use....I pushed really hard on the elliptical! An hour and 5 minutes on that thing today! I kept my heart rate up in the 90% range for nearly the entire workout. Wow, did that feel good! We ended our day with an appointment with our marriage counselor, who will now become my husband's therapist for the next few months as he works through some of his unresolved issues. It actually turned into a really productive day for us! We walked away from our appointment with three follow-up appointments for my husband: one for him to take an MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), an appointment with a psychiatrist, who can help figure out which anti-anxiety medication might help him the most, and another appointment for a one-on-one session with the therapist. Hopefully all of this will equate to him working on being a much happier, healthier person so we can work on having a much happier, healthier family. It's so hard on the kids when we argue and although we try our hardest not to argue in front of them, they always seem to sense the extra tension.
Anyway, Day 22 of the challenge! Reyna, I'm so impressed that you were even able to stand after doing that 13-mile run, let alone do Kempo! Now that the forecast is saying that snow is becoming a possibility, I think the gym is going to be our refuge! Fine with me since I've been loving the elliptical lately. It's awesome to have a piece of gym equipment that is fun to use and tells you that you're burning nearly 1000 calories in an hour! Love that!
One last note, just because I'm really excited about this....About a year ago, I finally convinced my husband to let us adopt a kitten. She was adorable and I loved having her! But....I was having some allergy issues (hives) that I assumed were because of the kitten. So we gave the kitten away. Well, turned out the hives popped up every time I got stressed and were related to the anti-depressant medication I was on at the time. Ever since giving the cat away, my husband has been dead-set against getting another pet. Hehe....until his little girl started asking him! Apparently, the last couple of nights, Lily has asked her daddy if he'd like a kitty or a puppy. Let me make it clear that this has not been due to coaching from mommy. I occasionally take the kids to look at the pets in the mall's pet store, but I would never get a pet from there. I figure if Lily brings it up again for the next couple of nights, her daddy just might end up caving and telling her she can get a big kitty (no kittens in our home!). Yay! I miss having pets!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Why is this working?
First off....Reyna, you are one of my heroes! Seriously, a 13-mile run? That's awesome! Way to go, you fierce lady!
I've lost count of how many times I've crawled into the bandwagon and pledged to lose weight, exercise more, eat better. I've lost count of how many times I've fallen right back out of that wagon without making any major changed. Today is Day 21 of the 30-day challenge. Day 21 of working out everyday. At the beginning of this, I would never have thought I'd be able to do some of the things I can do now, without major straining or causing myself a heart attack. Today, I chose to workout at the gym. I was left without a car all day (hubby's truck won't run when it rains, darn thing!). I'm on Day 3 of my period, which usually lasts for a good 7 days. And yet, I still managed to go to the gym this evening and spend an hour on the elliptical. An hour! And I'm pushing myself a little bit too. I spend about 1/4 of my time on the machine trying to go at a faster pace. I'm increasing the level so there's a little more resistance. It's great! So....what's different now and why is this working?
I think it all boils down to one concept....SUCCESS BREEDS SUCCESS. All of my other attempts, I've concentrated on weight loss. Do you know how hard it is to lose a pound of fat? It's so much work! And pounds do not melt off! At least, not naturally. If you want to melt the pounds off, you may want to invest in a human-sized spit and let someone roast you over a fire in the backyard. It'll be painful, but the pounds of fat will melt. Would you believe that I haven't set foot on a scale since I started this though? I'm not paying any attention at all to weight. By not paying any attention to it, it's forcing me to use other ways of measuring my success. Like the fact that my body is changing. I haven't dropped any dress sizes or anything like that, but my clothes are fitting better. My pudgy, chunky belly no longer imitates the top of a muffin when I wear jeans! My legs have more muscle, my butt doesn't jiggle quite so much, I've dropped down to a d-cup bra (woohoo!). I can run up and down our stairs in our house without getting winded! I can haul Leo's skinny little butt into the gym from the car without feeling like my arm is going to give out and I'm gonna drop him. I can chase after my little escape-artist (repeatedly, because he's stubborn and thinks it's funny) and I'm not feeling like I'm gonna drop into a puddle! Those are my measures of success this time around. The more I can chase after my children and play with them, the more determined I am to keep going!
Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy. There have been days when I haven't felt like going. I procrastinate horribly. This is why it never worked for me before when I resolved to go to the gym three times a week. I'd go the first day and then would skip a couple days because I was sore. And then I'd procrastinate and figure I could just go the last two days of the week. The last day of the week would come, I would have only gone once, instead of the two I should have gone and I'd give up and figure, "why bother". This time, I can procrastinate all day, spend the day playing with the kids, cooking, cleaning, crocheting, whatever. But when evening comes and I haven't gone yet? The fear of being disappointed in myself propels me out that door and off to the gym. I do not want to fail myself this time. And I have so much less time to procrastinate with the "go every day" goal. So, I go every day. And that's working because I'm not straining myself too horribly. Something I've really noticed with myself, my mom, my husband.....when we make resolutions to go to the gym, diet, whatever....we tend to throw ourselves into it whole-heartedly, with everything we have. There's a problem with that. When you start out going at full-speed, it leaves you nothing to work your way up to and it tends to tire you out quickly. So, this time, starting slow, walking a couple of miles a day, worked. I walked a couple of miles. And then a few days later, I walked three miles. And then four miles. Now, 21 days later, I can go for an hour on the elliptical! I can push myself a little bit each day without fearing that I'm putting myself in danger of being unable to go the next day. It's amazing how quickly your body can and does adjust to moderate, daily activity! And even more amazing how your body starts to crave that daily activity!
Now, here's the one area that I feel can still be pushed and improved on....I haven't bothered to change my diet much during this challenge. You see, one of the things with doing exercise/activity changes and diet changes at the same time...it's really hard! After you workout, you get hungry. The more you work out, the more appetite you have. And this is where diabetes really plays a part. The more I work out, the more exercise I get, the more low blood sugars I have to treat. I'm knocking back my basal doses a little at a time and trying to gradually do away with some of the worst lows, but until my insulin is adjusted perfectly for the amount of exercise I'm getting now, I have lows to treat. That doesn't mean that changes aren't happening though. I used to spend a lot of time eating simply out of boredom. After the kids went to bed, I'd snack and watch tv. Now, I rarely snack on anything more than an apple after the kids are in bed. I don't eat just to eat. I eat when I'm hungry and when I'm low. I'm not making a concentrated, full-out effort to cut back on my calories, but it's happening anyway. I don't want to ruin my hard work with empty, pointless food. I did indulge in my craving for hot, buttered popcorn the other night. But, I stuck with a very small amount and only used about half the amount of butter that I would have used before. I would have considered that a huge sacrifice before!
Tomorrow is going to be a challenge. The forecast includes rain and some pretty phenomenal winds. The rain means I will probably be left without a vehicle again. And as soon as my husband gets home from work, we'll have to head out the door to his appointment with the therapist (yay! for finally starting the path to healing his inner child!). It might take some real effort to get us to the gym again tomorrow...maybe I'll have to haul the kids out in their pjs to bring my husband to work so we can have the car! In which case, I should probably be getting to bed soon!
*Just one quick note......Only one more week until all of the political slugs crawl back under their rocks and leave us in peace for another year! I can't wait!
I've lost count of how many times I've crawled into the bandwagon and pledged to lose weight, exercise more, eat better. I've lost count of how many times I've fallen right back out of that wagon without making any major changed. Today is Day 21 of the 30-day challenge. Day 21 of working out everyday. At the beginning of this, I would never have thought I'd be able to do some of the things I can do now, without major straining or causing myself a heart attack. Today, I chose to workout at the gym. I was left without a car all day (hubby's truck won't run when it rains, darn thing!). I'm on Day 3 of my period, which usually lasts for a good 7 days. And yet, I still managed to go to the gym this evening and spend an hour on the elliptical. An hour! And I'm pushing myself a little bit too. I spend about 1/4 of my time on the machine trying to go at a faster pace. I'm increasing the level so there's a little more resistance. It's great! So....what's different now and why is this working?
I think it all boils down to one concept....SUCCESS BREEDS SUCCESS. All of my other attempts, I've concentrated on weight loss. Do you know how hard it is to lose a pound of fat? It's so much work! And pounds do not melt off! At least, not naturally. If you want to melt the pounds off, you may want to invest in a human-sized spit and let someone roast you over a fire in the backyard. It'll be painful, but the pounds of fat will melt. Would you believe that I haven't set foot on a scale since I started this though? I'm not paying any attention at all to weight. By not paying any attention to it, it's forcing me to use other ways of measuring my success. Like the fact that my body is changing. I haven't dropped any dress sizes or anything like that, but my clothes are fitting better. My pudgy, chunky belly no longer imitates the top of a muffin when I wear jeans! My legs have more muscle, my butt doesn't jiggle quite so much, I've dropped down to a d-cup bra (woohoo!). I can run up and down our stairs in our house without getting winded! I can haul Leo's skinny little butt into the gym from the car without feeling like my arm is going to give out and I'm gonna drop him. I can chase after my little escape-artist (repeatedly, because he's stubborn and thinks it's funny) and I'm not feeling like I'm gonna drop into a puddle! Those are my measures of success this time around. The more I can chase after my children and play with them, the more determined I am to keep going!
Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy. There have been days when I haven't felt like going. I procrastinate horribly. This is why it never worked for me before when I resolved to go to the gym three times a week. I'd go the first day and then would skip a couple days because I was sore. And then I'd procrastinate and figure I could just go the last two days of the week. The last day of the week would come, I would have only gone once, instead of the two I should have gone and I'd give up and figure, "why bother". This time, I can procrastinate all day, spend the day playing with the kids, cooking, cleaning, crocheting, whatever. But when evening comes and I haven't gone yet? The fear of being disappointed in myself propels me out that door and off to the gym. I do not want to fail myself this time. And I have so much less time to procrastinate with the "go every day" goal. So, I go every day. And that's working because I'm not straining myself too horribly. Something I've really noticed with myself, my mom, my husband.....when we make resolutions to go to the gym, diet, whatever....we tend to throw ourselves into it whole-heartedly, with everything we have. There's a problem with that. When you start out going at full-speed, it leaves you nothing to work your way up to and it tends to tire you out quickly. So, this time, starting slow, walking a couple of miles a day, worked. I walked a couple of miles. And then a few days later, I walked three miles. And then four miles. Now, 21 days later, I can go for an hour on the elliptical! I can push myself a little bit each day without fearing that I'm putting myself in danger of being unable to go the next day. It's amazing how quickly your body can and does adjust to moderate, daily activity! And even more amazing how your body starts to crave that daily activity!
Now, here's the one area that I feel can still be pushed and improved on....I haven't bothered to change my diet much during this challenge. You see, one of the things with doing exercise/activity changes and diet changes at the same time...it's really hard! After you workout, you get hungry. The more you work out, the more appetite you have. And this is where diabetes really plays a part. The more I work out, the more exercise I get, the more low blood sugars I have to treat. I'm knocking back my basal doses a little at a time and trying to gradually do away with some of the worst lows, but until my insulin is adjusted perfectly for the amount of exercise I'm getting now, I have lows to treat. That doesn't mean that changes aren't happening though. I used to spend a lot of time eating simply out of boredom. After the kids went to bed, I'd snack and watch tv. Now, I rarely snack on anything more than an apple after the kids are in bed. I don't eat just to eat. I eat when I'm hungry and when I'm low. I'm not making a concentrated, full-out effort to cut back on my calories, but it's happening anyway. I don't want to ruin my hard work with empty, pointless food. I did indulge in my craving for hot, buttered popcorn the other night. But, I stuck with a very small amount and only used about half the amount of butter that I would have used before. I would have considered that a huge sacrifice before!
Tomorrow is going to be a challenge. The forecast includes rain and some pretty phenomenal winds. The rain means I will probably be left without a vehicle again. And as soon as my husband gets home from work, we'll have to head out the door to his appointment with the therapist (yay! for finally starting the path to healing his inner child!). It might take some real effort to get us to the gym again tomorrow...maybe I'll have to haul the kids out in their pjs to bring my husband to work so we can have the car! In which case, I should probably be getting to bed soon!
*Just one quick note......Only one more week until all of the political slugs crawl back under their rocks and leave us in peace for another year! I can't wait!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
If you think farting is funny.....
It's okay, you can laugh at me tonight. I'm laughing at me.
I've had a bit of a rough day. It didn't get off to the best start. It never does when I wake up to find that my not-so-wonderful Aunt Flo (AF from here on out) has arrived. I actually used to have to take codeine for the pain that comes with AF. I'm trying to combat it with just extra-strength midol and ibuprofen now. It's not cutting it. And there are a few uncomfortable friends that AF brings with her. Cravings, lack of energy, moodiness....oh, it's a blast having unwanted visitors, isn't it? So, this morning AF showed up. And I just wanted to crawl back into bed all day long. Luckily, my wonderfully amazing husband let me sleep in this morning. Even better since the kids woke up at the ass-crack-of-dawn! Unfortunately, the combination of those two always puts my husband in a cranky, angry, resentful kind of mood with me for the rest of the day until I remember to sit down in front of him, look him full in the face, and tell him how incredibly much I appreciate that he does that. Just thanking him for it repeatedly is not enough, I guess. You'd think I'd learn. Must add groveling at the feet of my husband to my list of things to do next time he lets me sleep in. Anyway, back to the story.....AF for me means lots of discomfort. I've actually had surgery to try to figure out why this is, but so far, there is no answer to it. I spend days in misery, not wanting to do anything but curl up under a warm, fuzzy blanket and eat everything salty and sweet that I can get my hands on. Unfortunately, wallowing in my misery isn't an option and if I missed working out today, on day 19 of my 30-day challenge...I would be so incredibly disappointed in myself! So, this evening, I packed up my stuff, put on workout clothes and went off to the gym.....
Here's an uncomfortable fact....increases in hormones cause digestive issues for me. This accounts for a great deal of my misery. Want to know a second uncomfortable fact? Exercising speeds up the digestive process. When I got to the gym tonight, I kept all of that in mind when I chose an elliptical to use for my workout. I specifically chose one far away from anyone else. No one, anywhere close. You can guess what comes next, right? Someone had to come and ruin my solitude, just five minutes into my hour-long workout. Never mind that there are 15 other ellipticals and only one other person working out on one. I would have felt bad for what came next, but really, she could have picked another elliptical! For the next 30 minutes, the poor woman had to deal with the silent-but-deadly version of noxious emissions. You know the kind...the sulfurous-smelling ones. My face is still turning bright red, even as I type that. It's embarrassing! But really, what can you do? Hold it all in, and you spend the entire time clenching your butt while trying to resist the urge to double over in pain.
It's okay, you can laugh about it. After you get over how icky all that is. Now, I think I'm going to head to bed before my insane craving for buttery, salted popcorn gets the best of me!
I've had a bit of a rough day. It didn't get off to the best start. It never does when I wake up to find that my not-so-wonderful Aunt Flo (AF from here on out) has arrived. I actually used to have to take codeine for the pain that comes with AF. I'm trying to combat it with just extra-strength midol and ibuprofen now. It's not cutting it. And there are a few uncomfortable friends that AF brings with her. Cravings, lack of energy, moodiness....oh, it's a blast having unwanted visitors, isn't it? So, this morning AF showed up. And I just wanted to crawl back into bed all day long. Luckily, my wonderfully amazing husband let me sleep in this morning. Even better since the kids woke up at the ass-crack-of-dawn! Unfortunately, the combination of those two always puts my husband in a cranky, angry, resentful kind of mood with me for the rest of the day until I remember to sit down in front of him, look him full in the face, and tell him how incredibly much I appreciate that he does that. Just thanking him for it repeatedly is not enough, I guess. You'd think I'd learn. Must add groveling at the feet of my husband to my list of things to do next time he lets me sleep in. Anyway, back to the story.....AF for me means lots of discomfort. I've actually had surgery to try to figure out why this is, but so far, there is no answer to it. I spend days in misery, not wanting to do anything but curl up under a warm, fuzzy blanket and eat everything salty and sweet that I can get my hands on. Unfortunately, wallowing in my misery isn't an option and if I missed working out today, on day 19 of my 30-day challenge...I would be so incredibly disappointed in myself! So, this evening, I packed up my stuff, put on workout clothes and went off to the gym.....
Here's an uncomfortable fact....increases in hormones cause digestive issues for me. This accounts for a great deal of my misery. Want to know a second uncomfortable fact? Exercising speeds up the digestive process. When I got to the gym tonight, I kept all of that in mind when I chose an elliptical to use for my workout. I specifically chose one far away from anyone else. No one, anywhere close. You can guess what comes next, right? Someone had to come and ruin my solitude, just five minutes into my hour-long workout. Never mind that there are 15 other ellipticals and only one other person working out on one. I would have felt bad for what came next, but really, she could have picked another elliptical! For the next 30 minutes, the poor woman had to deal with the silent-but-deadly version of noxious emissions. You know the kind...the sulfurous-smelling ones. My face is still turning bright red, even as I type that. It's embarrassing! But really, what can you do? Hold it all in, and you spend the entire time clenching your butt while trying to resist the urge to double over in pain.
It's okay, you can laugh about it. After you get over how icky all that is. Now, I think I'm going to head to bed before my insane craving for buttery, salted popcorn gets the best of me!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Holding back...
I scaled back my exercise a bit today. I'm not feeling too horribly, but a little lacking in energy. We had a bit of a rough night, followed by a very early morning, which is never good. So, today, we stuck with a 3-mile walk around Lake Nokomis, which is not quite as gorgeous as Lake Calhoun. They're both part of a chain of lakes here in Minnesota and there are biking paths, a scenic byway, and walking paths stretching between all of them. I think we're going to have to check out a couple of the other lakes as well. Don't want the kids to get bored!
I was thinking I should blog tonight about the differences between what I'm doing now and why it's working for me and what I've done before and why it didn't work. This process has been fantastic, not just in a physical sense. I'm also looking at my own weak areas and personal tendencies. It's all definitely helping me grow in so many ways. But tonight, instead, I'm going to share something from my past with you, something not exactly diabetes-related, but I do think it connects with the recent passing of Eilish in some ways....
When I was 22, I took a job as a camp counselor at a summer camp in Minnesota. Kids come from all over the U.S. to attend this particular camp and they're often 2nd generation attendees, meaning that their parents were also campers. The camp was actually split, with boys on one side of the lake and girls on the other. There really wasn't much interaction between the two sides, except for with the counselors. The counselors showed up to camp a few weeks before the kids and spent time getting to know everyone (and thinking up nicknames for everyone, as the camp had a tradition that none of the staff went by their real names-my camp name was Sunshine, if you can believe that one). It was a wonderful place to work, for the most part. The co-workers were all amazing people. The summer went by quickly, friendships formed and cemented. There was one particular co-worker that I really enjoyed spending time with. After the kids were in bed, we'd hang out outside our cabins and talk until the bugs got too bad. Her came name was Indigo and her fiancée, Reel, worked at the boys' camp. He was in charge of videotaping the main events of the summer and putting a film together at the end. Towards the end of the summer, Reel was sent out with a group of boys who were taking a 3-day long biking trip. In a freak accident, Reel lost his balance while filming and fell. His head hit the pavement. Two days later, he passed away of brain injuries.
I don't need to tell you how incredibly tragic it is when a young person passes. For those of us who live with a chronic illness, like diabetes, we know that the threat always lurks in the shadows. There is no real comfort that can be offered when it shoots out of the shadows and claims a life. But....I want to offer those of you who are still sad over this latest loss, just as I am, a story with a bit of a message:
The Dragonfly
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.
Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.
Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.
When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.
So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.
Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.
But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!
~Author Unknown~
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.
Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.
Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.
When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.
So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.
Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.
But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!
~Author Unknown~
Death isn't the end. It's a transformation. Just because a loved one isn't with us in the physical sense anymore doesn't mean that they are gone from this world or from our hearts.
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