Friday, August 20, 2010

I've HAD IT!

Seriously, I need to throw a temper tantrum quick so I can head to bed with a clear mind.  This has been The Week from Hell!  Actually, it's been a couple of weeks from hell.  I think it all started a couple weeks ago, when my husband asked me if I minded taking the kids to Lily's endo appointment by myself.  Yes, of course I mind!  But, if there's really that much stuff that you need to be at work for, then fine, I'll take them alone.  I do understand, my husband's job is important and he's nearing the end of the project he's currently working on.  It's CRUNCH TIME!  And the expectations are high.  So is the amount of work to be finished and all the kinks need to be worked out.  So he's stressed.  I get it.  And I love him, so I put up with the side-effects that follow him home.  He's cranky.  He's tired and worn out.  He's run down.  My husband is a perfectionist and a tiny bit of a work-a-holic.  Not just with the work he does at work, but with the work he does at home.  He rarely relaxes.  So he gets stressed and tends to lash out.  He gets resentful sometimes because I'm not like that.  I like to relax.  If the floor is messy and the dishes still need to be washed, it doesn't bother me as much as long as I've spent my day interacting with my children.  The quality of care my children get from me far outweighs the amount of housework I do.  So it's okay, as long as I get around to cleaning eventually, right?  So....endo appointment with two small children, followed by a blood draw for Lily, since the doctor runs a battery of tests once a year.  Followed by a drive home with one very unhappy little girl and one very tired little boy.  And then a busy weekend without much of a break.  And a busy week without much of a break.  My husband got together with friends and family several nights in a row last weekend, which meant I was left alone to put the kids to bed all three of those nights.  I was sick, running a fever, and not feeling well. But, I did it, because it's what moms do.  And when Tuesday rolled around and I told my husband that I needed a break....he responded with, "I'm not feeling good."  Apparently, I was supposed to interpret that to mean, "I'm unable to care for the children on my own."  So, after a big argument, I gave up on my break and helped with the kids.  End of the week, and still no break.  As I'm typing, my husband is downstairs, laughing with two of his friends, as they play board games and listen to Angry White Man Music (Pantera, maybe?).  I have spent my night crocheting on the couch in between testing Lily's blood sugar every hour and a half because she isn't feeling well and her blood sugars are running high.  That was, of course, after I put the kids to bed by myself again.  After being disappointed because my husband refused to wait for our favorite Indian restaurant to make a take-out order for us.  He decided Little Caesar's was good enough.


Thought a virtual scream might help, since I can't do a real one.  It didn't.  I'm going to bed after I test Lily one last time.  But I will be sleeping in tomorrow, whether my husband wants to get up with the kids or not!  And I will be getting my break.  Because a stressed, tired, cranky mommy is not a good mommy!  He'll just have to deal!


  1. I'm just hoping this is an occasional occurrence as this feminist mama wouldn't stand for any lick of that for long! Seriously....get that man on board or find an expensive babysitter/nurse that helps him see that you're serious about needing a few moments to yourself!

  2. DITTO on what Sarah said! And Cindy I truly admire you and your courage and honesty. You are the one who did the fabulous marriage post too and I really appreciate that about you. Know you are not alone and there are times I want to do a huge "cyber-scream" too. I hope you slept in today and get the much needed break that you deserve.

    Have a great weekend Cindy!