Normally, I would sensor my language. But today is a swearing kind of day. Seriously. Sleep is a very precious commodity. I'm lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep in a night. Most nights, it's less than that. The days of getting 8 good hours of sleep are long over. And the hours of sleep that I do get are interrupted frequently, by worries over Lily's blood sugars, by Leo twisting and turning and flopping in the bed, BY MY HUSBAND'S SNORING. Oh. My. Gosh. The snoring! I think I'm going to go batty from the snoring. You see, just after Lily was born, I finally convinced my husband to go in for a sleep study. I noticed him gasping and pauses in his breathing while he was sleeping. He went in and the next day, we had answers. The standard at the time, I believe, was that if you stopped breathing more than 5 times in an hour, you had sleep apnea. My husband stopped breathing 36 times in one hour of sleep. And at one point, he stopped breathing for 46 seconds straight! He can't even hold his breath that long when he's conscious! He was given a CPAP machine and fitted for a mask. But he HATED it! He hated wearing it at night and would pull it off in his sleep. He fought with it all the time and would sometimes just decide to not wear it at all. And then I got pregnant with Leo. And I couldn't handle not getting enough sleep while in the first trimester (aka the three-month coma). So I slept in Lily's bed with her. And then I got uncomfortable and sore with pregnancy and I wanted my own bed. I moved back into our bed and instilled the rule..."If you're not going to wear the mask, you can sleep on the damn couch!" That worked for quite a while. And eventually, my husband started wearing the mask every night. Things went along well for a while. We got *some* sleep and we were happy. And now we're back to the beginning again. My husband is back to hating the mask. It irritates his nose and he ends up with a spot on the bridge of his nose that's red and irritated. He doesn't want to wear the mask anymore. Don't forget, Leo is still sleeping in our bed with us. So now, not only is he disturbing my sleep, but he's disturbing Leo's sleep and Leo is disturbing my sleep. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Seriously, I'm going to lose my mind. I rarely get to crawl into bed before 11:00. And then I crawl in, just to be kept awake by snoring. I hate waking him to tell him to put the mask on, but I have to or I'll never sleep. So I do and then listen to him fuss with the mask for a good 5 minutes. I'm so tired and all I want is a decent amount of sleep. I could just cry over how tired and worn out I'm feeling. I don't know what to do anymore.
To add to my misery this morning, I forgot yesterday that I needed to pick up more coffee. I used the last of the grounds yesterday morning. So now I'm stuck at home with my two very small children, incredibly sleep-deprived and cranky, and no cup of liquid energy anywhere in sight!