Tonight, I have a very big confession to make. This is something that I consider my greatest flaw and it's been weighing on my mind a lot lately. I am perpetually exhausted. That's no big news, I know, for other d-moms. The lack of a full night of sleep for year after year after year drags us down sometimes. But here's the problem and where my big flaw comes in....I wake up completely drained. I can't get myself going. I drink coffee and I turn on the tv (bad mommy!) so that the kids can be entertained by cartoons while they eat breakfast. And then...I lie down on the couch and doze until they become sick of it and start making me move. Yup, there's the feeling of shame creeping in. I'm a lazy mommy in the mornings. I can't get myself moving. I hate that I can't just bounce out of bed, ready to face the day, with the energy to tackle it all with my children in tow. I just can't figure out how to do that! Even on the nights when I get a good amount of sleep, it still takes me an hour or two to get going. I don't like rushing in the morning. I'm lazy. I need to find a way to force myself to tackle this issue and make some necessary changes. I feel like I'm not making the most of my time with my children and I'm not being "present" enough in their days, their playtimes. I want to be a "fun mommy". I want them to have great memories of what it was like to spend their days with me. And most of all, I want to fill our days with activities and fun and meaning. I must do this! They're worth the effort. I just need to push my exhaustion and tiredness aside and get myself going. Maybe I just need to do the same thing with this problem as I did with the lack of exercise and make myself move bright and early for 30 days straight. It's an idea...who knows, maybe it would work! Really, these adorable little beasts are worth that amount of effort and more!
*Pictures were already on the computer. Gotta find that camera!
I hear you on the exhaustion. I am finding that having to get up and get ready to teach is helping...still tired, but up and moving.
ReplyDeleteThere were many, many mornings when Bean was in Kindergarten that I would come home, set Bug up in the playpen, turn on Seasame Street and crash on the couch...and this was BEFORE D stole my sleep every night! Hey, she learned how to count from Elmo, so it wasn't all bad!! ;)
Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do survive. No judgement from me, friend!! :)
Cindy...don't beat yourself up over the morning thing. During the summer, I let my guys watch TV in the morning while I blog...we get going by like 9 or 10. I think "down time" is a must. I admire how you are always striving to do better by yourself and your family. xo
ReplyDeleteI am the same way in the morning. My kids get up at around 8 (which is pretty late for most people), but I need about an hour of no talking. Elise is a little chatterbox, so it has forced me out of my morning fog.
ReplyDeleteStill, all I want to do is lay down!
I hear ya...EVERYBODY around this house knows I am NOT a morning person, and not too expect too much of me before a cup of coffee is in me! It's funny that you posted this today as I was feeling really guilty for not being super spunky always happy mom today. Looks like we all need to give ourselves a break :)
ReplyDeleteIf you're looking for tips...here's my one (if you're not just ignore): don't turn on the TV when eating. This was a huge rule in my parent's home growing up and I still find it to be useful for us all. If I am still too tired in the AM I'll put on some books on tape/cd for the kiddos. Then we can sit/lie together listening. I find that if the TV is on it just gives me the excuse to zone out...every once in a while is fine, but every day is too hard for me to get moving.
But that's just me :) Others may not have the TV zone out issue that I have!
I hope you feel better soon and kick that cold!