I do a pretty good job most of the time of staying positive and not letting things bother me too much. Most of the time. It's hard to get too upset about my daughter being diabetic when I see so many other parents dealing with much worse. Diabetes is hard, but it's life, right? But I still have my moments. Today, I want to follow my son's lead and throw myself down on the floor and kick and scream about how unfair life is. I want to yell to the world about how much I hate the fact that Lily is going to be diabetic for the rest of her life. I'm tired, I don't think I get more than 4 hours of sleep each night. I wake up every couple of hours, doing blood sugar checks for Lily and myself. I worry about what her blood sugar is doing at all hours, about whether or not she has enough water to last through the night, whether she's too hot or too cold. Oh, how I wish I could have just one night without any worries. One night of un-interrupted sleep so I could wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day. How wonderful would it be to be able to go away with my husband for an evening and leave the kids with a babysitter and to not have to worry about whether the babysitter knows how to handle Lily's blood sugar checks and insulin dosing?
Okay, tantrum is over, I think. I'm just feeling a bit tired and emotional today. It's a lot easier to deal with all the stress and strain when you've gotten enough sleep. I have a feeling today might be a bit rough, unless I can convince both my children to nap so I can get one in too!
(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI have had many days where I too, have wanted to throw myself down on the floor and have a big crazy tantrum!
It's hard when we think about how permenant T1 is, you often wish that we could just have a day off...when I have those thoughts they are often filled with some guilt too because I do realize that this is something that our children will have to live with everyday for the rest of their lives until a cure is found.
That's a hard pill to swallow! I will be hoping that your little ones decide to take a nice loooooong nap so that you may recharge your batteries and get some much deserved rest!
Hang in there my friend, you are not alone in this :)
I have had many a tantrum, and you are for sure allowed your share. I'm here to listen to all you got to throw at us. Diabetes is stupid, and we all want it to go away too. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteIs there any way your hubby and you could slip away for a date? Even just a dinner for a couple hours? I replaced sleep with anticipation of a night one on one with my man. It wasn't the most successful endeavor, but emotionally, I do a bit better when I have something to look forward to.
Thinking of you!
it's okay to tantrum... you wouldn't be human if you didn't.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping that you are able to spend some time with your husband, AND get some much needed sleep soon!