I do a pretty good job most of the time of staying positive and not letting things bother me too much. Most of the time. It's hard to get too upset about my daughter being diabetic when I see so many other parents dealing with much worse. Diabetes is hard, but it's life, right? But I still have my moments. Today, I want to follow my son's lead and throw myself down on the floor and kick and scream about how unfair life is. I want to yell to the world about how much I hate the fact that Lily is going to be diabetic for the rest of her life. I'm tired, I don't think I get more than 4 hours of sleep each night. I wake up every couple of hours, doing blood sugar checks for Lily and myself. I worry about what her blood sugar is doing at all hours, about whether or not she has enough water to last through the night, whether she's too hot or too cold. Oh, how I wish I could have just one night without any worries. One night of un-interrupted sleep so I could wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day. How wonderful would it be to be able to go away with my husband for an evening and leave the kids with a babysitter and to not have to worry about whether the babysitter knows how to handle Lily's blood sugar checks and insulin dosing?
Okay, tantrum is over, I think. I'm just feeling a bit tired and emotional today. It's a lot easier to deal with all the stress and strain when you've gotten enough sleep. I have a feeling today might be a bit rough, unless I can convince both my children to nap so I can get one in too!